Ingredients

  • 1 1/2 cups uncooked jasmine rice
  • 3 cups water
  • 2 teaspoons oil
  • 1 (12 ounce) can fully cooked luncheon meat (such as SPAM® or regular ham), cubed
  • 3 eggs, beaten
  • 2 tablespoons canola oil
  • 1 (8 ounce) can pineapple chunks, drained
  • 3 tablespoons oyster sauce (can be expensive so you can substitute equal parts leftover pineapple juice and teriyaki sauce.)
  • 1/2 cup chopped green onion
  • 1 minute of a luau (done half-ass)

Directions

  1. Bring the rice and water to a boil in a saucepan over high heat. Reduce heat to medium-low, cover, and simmer until the rice is tender, and the liquid has been absorbed, 20 to 25 minutes. Let the rice cool completely.
  2. Heat 2 teaspoons of oil in a skillet over medium heat, and brown the luncheon meat. Set aside, and pour the beaten eggs into the hot skillet. Scramble the eggs, and set aside.
  3. Heat 2 tablespoons of oil in a large nonstick skillet over medium heat, and stir in the rice. Toss the rice with the hot oil until heated through and beginning to brown, about 2 minutes. Add the garlic powder, toss the rice for 1 more minute to develop the garlic taste, and stir in the luncheon meat, scrambled eggs, pineapple, and oyster sauce. Cook and stir until the oyster sauce coats.
  4. Luau that shit to the table.